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Last night I was lucky to attend the advanced screening of Robert Rodriquez’s film MACHETE at The Orpheum Theatre in DTLA. To say I was blown away by this film isn’t even close to how awesome it is. This event was not joking no cameras and no phones. The two pics below I quickly capped before having to head back to the car and drop all the electronics.

Well for those not familiar with MACHETE it was a fake trailer on the beginning of Grind House (2007) but the character goes back further to Desperado. Rumors were going around that a movie would be made and go straight to DVD. So like everyone else I wait for this DVD to get pressed, but it didn’t come… Then the greatest news was the project was green lighted and going to be filmed as a theatrical release!!! Which leads us to last night’s premiere which was a total mix of artists, stars, suits, and other people who must do something major.

So on to the movie. (Trying to not drop any spoilers)

Straight out the gate this movie is hauling major ass, from the jump! The opening scene alone will get you pumped up to the next level. In this opening segment you will see bullets flying, heads get cut off, naked women stowing phones in unnatural ways, blood, more blood, and more gore.

This movie is a over the top, leave your brain at the door have fun and enjoy your experience. You can tell that Rodriguez and cast had a blast making this film and it shows 100%. This is a straight action piece that only lets up when MACHETE gets down with the ladies. This movie felt familiar but not in the lame way more in a memories of how I felt growing up in the early 80’s watching other films in this category.

The nod to Escape From New York with the pan across the weapons table. Another scene when our hero MACHETE yeah man I said it he is a HERO! He is escaping from a gnarly situation and he split in a way that I personally thought was a nod to John Woo’s HardBoiled (1992) staring Chow Yun-Fat. That could totally just be me. Also for no reason I felt like the first time when I was watching Rolling Thunder (1977) .

The entire cast puts on a great show and the story moves along at a good pace. The surprise for me was I figured it would be over the top but have it’s limits. WRONG if the limit was a brick wall then MACHETE is a speeding semi truck crashing thru the wall and going another 100 miles before stopping. Nothing is off limits in the movie and I loved it.

Steven Segal, and Don Johnson characters are awesome and they seem right at home. I didn’t think of Marked For Death (1990) or Miami Vice once, in my opinion that is good. Jessica Alba is hot as usual and kicking some ass. Robert DeNiro playing a scum bag politician was very funny. Jeff Fahey plays a complete D-bag and it’s great! Lindsey Lohan’s character is when life is played thru art. The ultra stand out in my mind beside Trejo is Michelle Rodriguez all I have to say is eyepatch, assault rifle, double barrel sawed off shotty in a holster showing here abs!!! Oh wait I almost forgot Tom Savini, he makes a brief cameo and I wish he had more, but hey it’s Tom Savini…

This movie is a true thrill ride that smacks you in the face over and over again. But I for one loved every blood soaked machete swinging minute. This character is just a perfect fit for Danny Trejo and Rodriguez has created a leading man out of him now.

Remember MACHETE don’t text!

MACHETE – Sept 3, 2010

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